I have decided to embark on a new adventure – a passion project that is very close to my heart. I have decided that I have been through some serious shit, and there are people that would benefit to know how I made it to the other side.
It was hard – beyond hard – and I have done so many things that I am ashamed of. This new path of mine means unpacking all of that for the public to see – and that, to me, is harder than all the crap I’ve endured over my lifetime.
But, I keep reminding myself that so many others experience similar situations – and so many others never come to the realizations I have. So many others are held in place, frozen by their circumstance until they die. They spend decades not being true to themselves and not experiencing their lives as they should because of situations outside of their control.
Control is something I will have to talk about, too. I need control in my life, and it stems from never having control when my life was falling apart around me. But, what I thought of as control has changed. Now I have a different understanding of it than most, and I feel like people could learn from my misunderstanding and take control of their lives.
People could stand to know that they are not alone. That they don’t have to hate themselves for choices they made in a horrendous situation. And that they can love themselves and be loved by others even through all that the universe has to throw at them.
This blog is the beginning of that passion project, so please share this post with your friends. Please let them hear my story, because it is a tragic tale indeed. But, I have weathered the storm, and I have surfaced and I can breathe for the first time in my life. It took me 26 years to see clearly and learn to love myself – I know it takes so many others longer and I want to halt it in its path. I want to guide people out of the storm using my experiences and help them find their value. I think that is what my purpose is in this life, and I think that is why I was put through so much hell from the moment I was put on this Earth.
This is the beginning of a new era of my life, and hopefully the main event. I want to help people. I want to do what I can to save others from the pain I experienced. And this is how I can do it.
It’s going to get messy, and gross, and many people may hate me. People might despise me for the things I have done because of my situation. People will ask me why I stayed. People will ask me how I could love a monster. People will call for me to be hanged. I am going to tell you my secrets, and I am going to tell you how I live with myself today. It’s gonna be rough, but if you’ll just hear me out, I promise it will be worth it in the end.